Excessive consumption

Going to a retirement do this evening in which I plan to have steak and chips and drink a large quantity of vin rouge for its' health benefits. Some people do carbon off setting, personally I don't, I'm a consumer and I long for the glory days of being able to chuck everything in the rubbish, recycling is such a fuss. Anyway I calorie off-set, some would say, and probably rightly, that I haven't totally got the knack of calorie off-setting. In the week we had Quorn instead of mince beef but I whacked in a considerable amount of Port Salut, the round cheese with the orange hue.
  
 I forgot Aunt Jemima on top

 oh and a bucket load of Philadelphia.

This is probably a poor example of calorie off-setting and could explain a couple of things.
Not to worry, there's a lot of time to diet when you're dead..