Lard.

As I sit here typing away I am sipping, note cunning use of euphemism, at a Martini. This is because today I have been surrounded by morons and fuckwits. I'd like to tell you about some of my fabulous life and all the fabulous and very stylish stuff I have been experiencing, all the items off someone else's bucket list I have ticked off but it's been a bit shit lately. I had to miss Korn for a start because of illness, first time ever.
However one ray of light is that two dolts have repinned my picture of lard on Pinterest.

                                                                                                                     
















Published by the Lard Information Council. This was closely linked to the long lost Knitted Swimwear Council.

I for one miss both these organisations, life is not the same.

The sound of silence

Mouse most probably has dementia, she has been helping me a bit earlier with some typing and by hiding behind the printer. Thank-you Mouse you dopey little animal.
The last three days I have been effectively silenced by an acute case of laryngitis. This has gone down quite well with some of my acquaintances but has made yelling at morons and expressing myself quite tricky. People have been looking at me with pity and as if I am a little bit strange but I find when mouthed carefully enough "Motherfucker" is pretty easy to understand. I am worried that I may never sing the Ryeford national anthem again.
However it's easy enough to bollock someone via text message, now if only I had everyone's mobile number it would all be fine.

This was supposed to be a picture of Mouse but it's a picture of my fridge, I seem to have rather a lot of butter.