Pinterest

I have joined Pinterest, I have realised my life is not stylish enough. I will look enviously on at all the other stylish Pinteresters and fill myself full of self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy. On the other hand I might just carry on in the cack-handed manner to which I have become accustomed.

Excessive consumption

Going to a retirement do this evening in which I plan to have steak and chips and drink a large quantity of vin rouge for its' health benefits. Some people do carbon off setting, personally I don't, I'm a consumer and I long for the glory days of being able to chuck everything in the rubbish, recycling is such a fuss. Anyway I calorie off-set, some would say, and probably rightly, that I haven't totally got the knack of calorie off-setting. In the week we had Quorn instead of mince beef but I whacked in a considerable amount of Port Salut, the round cheese with the orange hue.
  
 I forgot Aunt Jemima on top

 oh and a bucket load of Philadelphia.

This is probably a poor example of calorie off-setting and could explain a couple of things.
Not to worry, there's a lot of time to diet when you're dead..

Harvesting the gap.

I went to an "Away Day" today to discuss, or be talked at rather, my job and the organisation I work for. It was completely pointless. One of the facilitators used the phrase "harvesting the gap" without smirking. I ask you. I hate the word facilitators and I hate it when the English language is mangled by knobheads in suits. There was a certain amount of self-importance. At least I got home at a decent hour which enabled me to complete some tasks. Unfortunately not the task involving the old fish tank which I keep putting off or cleaning the fridge.
The veal chops weren't great but the vodka and dill cream sauce was a triumph, as was the marmalade.
I am worried about defrosting the fridge because the sea-level will rise as the ice melts and I don't want to be responsible for wiping a small island off the face of the earth.


Marmalade.
Note the giant Freddo in the background.




It's Quorn mince night tomorrow on Day 4 (and final for this week) of healthy eating week. Nom nom not.

Gremlin

This weekend I'm going to make some marmalade from scratch so god help you if you live local because you'll be getting a jar. I am also going to cook veal chops with vodka dill cream sauce and some spaetzles. it's a gastronomic adventure
                                                                                                             
                                     
                                                                                                               

                                                 
                                                                   
I love vodka, I'm just about to make myself a Gremlin before I go to the pub, this is a rather fantastic drink that cures all known ills.







                       

Sherlock

I went with Poppy to the cinema tonight to see the latest Sherlock film, it was pretty good, it could have been improved with some Rammstein which would have suited the story perfectly but this is just my humble opinion. However the opera bits were great. Some party-pooping squares spoiled the cinema going experience by placing their balding and greying craniums in front of us. It was amusing seeing how wound up they got finding their seats in an empty cinema.
Poppy and I ate someone else's supper. Win.

Crap

The Splodge

What a crappy day it has been, the only redeeming factor is the fact that I am now at home.

Crackling

I look at this picture of Zoltan Bathory from time to time to cheer myself up. It works every time. I think he's probably a bit of a nerd but I like him and his music.

This made me smile today.






Yesterday I thought I would make a bit of an effort with the weekends' catering so I bought a nice ham hock to cook for the kids to snack on with sandwiches, make some soup, you know the kind of crap but it went wrong. I forgot I put it in the oven and there it stayed overnight and some more.
Poppy and I avoided the irritation that is the Stroud Farmers' Market today. Basically Stroud is a bit of a dump, I like it for this very reason and then on a Saturday all the trendy wankers pile in to buy over-priced crap made by people who regard themselves as artisans.
It was a brainwave though because if you put the word "Artisan" in front of a loaf of bread, a scotch egg or a donut you can charge at least three times as much for it. A scotch egg is a scotch egg, you can't polish a turd.

Unbelievably Nestle still have not contacted me about my Black Magic query, I don't think they care. Chocolate Bastards.

The Twilight Saga.

I just flushed Wario and Waluigi down the pan, they lasted 10 days, not even as long as the Christmas turkey, I found some in the back of the fridge this morning. I'm such a slovenly home-maker.
The brats and I had a chat about dusk, twilight, evening and night and their relationship to each other. This was a pointless exercise as it turns out that dusk only lasted three minutes this evening.
Nothing from Nestle.

Rubbish

It's bin day tomorrow which involves getting up early to put the rubbish out so the local cats don't eat it over night. What a way to start your day sifting through rubbish. Luckily it's not recycling too, this is very stressful when you haven't done any for 6 weeks and there's all of Christmas to discreetly dispose of. 

Mmmmmm Montelimar....

I am disappointed that Nestle haven't responded so far about the missing chocolates, I checked some information today about the Black Magic box, I am not the only person in outrage about the lack of Montelimars!

And here we have it in all it's glory.

Black Magic

This evening I emailed Nestle to find out why the new Black Magic only has six varieties of chocolates. This is a disappointment, I'm sure there were more when I was a girl. This will be especially embarrassing if it turns out that I've remembered a different manufacturers box of chocolates. I want the Turkish Delight back in particular.
I also had a text conversation with Lorna about turds.
Today is officially known as January the Turd because it's the day normal life resumed after the Christmas break. It certainly was a turdy day. However Lorna informed me about ghost turds, this was very interesting indeed as I have experienced the phenomenon but didn't know what it was called. Put simply, it's when you poop and it disappears round the u-bend of its' own accord, a ghost turd.
I understand this is an educational fact but rather unedifying. Well that's me all over.
I shall of course keep you posted re developments on the Black Magic front and discuss the efficacy of Molybdomancy.
We had Teriyaki chicken for tea, it was nice.